Looking Inward

There are some times where I have to stop and wonder how I've gotten myself where I am. This point in my life is one of those times.

The other night I was late doing chores for one reason or another. By the time I finished milking and such, it was hours past sunset and I somehow managed a moment to look up at the sky. It was a perfectly clear night and there were thousands of stars sprinkled all across the skies.

I've seen stars a thousand times before so it isn't like I'm new to the world of stars at night but for some reason I stopped dead in my tracks and looked up at the expanse above me. I just stared.

That's when I realized that I hadn't taken the time to stop and look up at the sky for quite a while. Life has been so hectic and most days by the time I finish chores my only concern is getting inside as quickly as possible. But that night I stood in the dark and watched in awe as the world glistened above me. It was amazing really. It still is. Thousands of stars, all within sight but still only the surface of a galaxy untouchable and unexplored. Here I was, a simple creature, looking at these lights and wondering at both my own mortality and the beauty of the world.

In that moment, it was just me, nature, and God spending a few private minutes together. It wasn't until later that I realized the reason I stopped and stared. It had been too long since I've looked upon the world with wonder.

There was once a time when I could look around me and see beauty in the simplest things. My faith pushed me onward while the world unfolded before me like pages to a book. I meditated, I questioned, and I sought out answers.

I think I've grown complacent. I've settled into a niche and forgotten that there is so much more than just this. I think it's time I force myself to reach out toward God and invest in my religion and then reach out and invest in my community. It's time I come to grips with the world around me and begin searching out new ways to develop and love the world as I once did years ago.

It's funny that such a profound change can be spurred merely by being late to chores and watching the stars at night.