Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Writer's Angst: The Crisis

There aren't many things that frighten me about a novel. Well, that's not true. There are several. I find plotting before writing comparative to having teeth pulled, the dreaded but always occurring writer's block stops me dead sometimes, and then there's the mantra of show, don't tell that just becomes a despised chide every couple scenes.

The one thing that scares me the most as an author?

The crisis.

Not the beginning, not the middle (which tends to be the hardest for writers), and most certainly not the climax. It's the crisis that terrifies me. Every time I near one I start to panic. The only thought in my head is "Oh, shit, you mean we're almost done with this book? Fuck Fuckity Fuck sake, what are we going to do when it's over?"

No exaggeration. It's probably the closest I get to panic attacks now. I think the reason is that once you near the crisis, you're pretty much forced to continue. You can't sit around writing the wonderful relaxing scenes you enjoy the first half. You have to finish that crisis and once you do you have to write the climax, which means your book is over.

I don't want my book to be over. I remember planning this book for years. I remember thinking about it when I was just a middle school nerd writing away in her classes and study halls. I remember plotting and planning and smiling and seeking shelter in the pages of this story, my hand effortlessly gliding over the page as I put words to paper.

Now my hands move just as quickly over the keyboard but this time I know there is no rewrite to come in the future. When this book is over, it's done. There may be edits and additions but there will be no reliving the excitement of Book 4 and that, my dear readers, is what frightens me so much.

Because we, as writers, hate seeing a good thing come to an end and dread it with all the strength we can muster.

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