To Define

Sarcasm - Noun. 1. Harsh or bitter derision or irony. 2. A sharply ironical taunt; sneering or cutting remark: a review full of sarcasms.

It's a desperately evil thing. People hate it. They accuse it of being the sociopath's tool to pass judgment, to deceitfully manipulate those around. It's a terrible tool, a wretched noun that brings only pain and anger.

Despise - Verb. To regard with contempt, distaste, disgust, or disdain; scorn; loathe.

Yet another tool in the arsenal of a sociopath's control. It's the very way that they function off of. It's a tool of contempt, a wedge they hammer between relationships so that they can tear them apart and put themselves in the position they desire. It tears the closest of individuals apart. It feeds off of weakness and doubt until the very seed of anger grows into a monstrous parasite.

Lies- Noun. A false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood.

It's the tool used to pit one against another, to grow doubt where it never existed, to infect the healthy with the evil. It's perhaps the strongest of the tools. It's by far the most long-lasting. One lie lasts a lifetime.

Everyone accuses these tools as being the instrument of destruction and manipulation. When they observe someone using them, they accuse that person as either being a sociopath or someone who is purposely destroying those around them. But here's the thing. These aren't tools. Those who think they are, are the very fools who think the world should spin according to them. These aren't instruments of destruction or pain. They are simple human emotions and actions. They are what they are. They are desperate attempts to defend oneself from that which threatens to harm them. The lies, despise, and sarcasm are attempts to mask the pain and sadness that a person feels.

They are human emotions and an emotion in itself is "any strong agitation of the feelings actuated by experiencing love, hate, fear". They are natural and they are there to be respected, not to be defined as a clinical problem or need to cure. We only define them as something medical and substantial because we, as humans, cannot stop another human from feeling an emotion that we do not agree with. We fear that which we cannot control and therefore, we fear each other.

Breaking the Habit

Today, I defeated part of my OCD. I used the first sheet from a roll of paper towels! Never before have I ever used the first sheet. Something about it just repulses me. Yet, today, while cleaning my shoes, I used that first sheet!

In celebration, and since I was SUPER hungry, I ate Japanese food.

Themes

I cannot describe to you the fascination I have with movie soundtracks. It's pretty much awesome. The other night, I went through my iTunes (which, I may add, is tediously organized according to album, artist, or mood thanks to my OCDness) and realized that I had over 200 soundtrack albums!

I love soundtracks!

I think my favorite soundtracks have to be The Lion King, Harry Potter soundtracks, Signs, and Prince of Egypt. I listen to those way more than anything else. The other day while driving in the car, my roommate heard a Lion King song and had a fit about how much she liked it as well. Finally, I have found someone else who shares my affinity for soundtracks. All is complete now. I can rest content while listening to The Drink of Despair from the 6th Harry Potter soundtrack.



Poor Harry Potter...

Preparations

As of now, our apartment is entirely decked out in holiday cheer. We have a tiny little Charlie Brown tree set up, little ornaments, lights on the balcony, and garland hung over the doorways. We actually got it all done in only a few hours too! There isn't much that's better than decorating a few weeks before Christmas with Elf playing in the background and two exceptional loud, and lovable, roommates helping you share the Christmas season.

My roommate, Chelsea, decorating.



Our tree, doors, and the lights on the balcony.



I adore Christmas and Santa probably more than I should. Even though most people don't believe in Santa, I believe in him in a way that sees him as a personification of our emotions. Santa Clause isn't just a man that runs around giving gifts (supposedly). He is actually the person who represents the one time where we can ignore the troubles and bad things in our lives. It's the time where we can put those troubles aside and be happy despite all the obstacles in life. Santa is the greatest representation of the resilience and optimism people are possible of.

So Christmas is by far the best time of year for me. It's a fun time where we can just have fun, forget the problems in the world, and spend time with families and friends. I absolutely love the smell of cinnamon sticks, the taste of cookies, and the warmth of having a house full of lights and beautiful garland.

"Buddy the elf, what's your favorite color?"

Middle Name: Busy

These last few weeks have zipped by so fast that it seems like I've lost track of time. It's seriously been so busy that I literally had to plan my days down to the minute. Each hour has its own schedule of goals to accomplish and unfortunately, fun has not been on the menu for quite a while. Luckily, tomorrow I plan on dedicating a couple hours to spending time with my roommate Chelsea and decorating the apartment for Christmas.

Have I mentioned how in love I am with having an apartment? It's simply amazing and wonderful. I love the seclusion and personal nature of having your own front room, kitchen, and bathroom. I'm even more excited for my house over the summer and next year. I still don't know where exactly I'm going to be living or how I'll afford it but a good friend once told me, in a moment of one of my monthly panic sessions, that you just can't worry over things. You just have to let it go and let life take its course. It will all find a way to figure itself out in the end.

Therefore, I will continue blindly into the future while focusing on the present. Despite all this busyness of school and work and life, I will still try to find those moments where I just listen to music, write a good old novel, and relax and marvel at the good that exists in the world.

And here's my dog update!! This is beautiful passion on a day of playing!





Yup, that's my puppy's mom...And she's simply adorable!

T-Minus 4 Months!

Well, since it is practically December, that means I am now nearing the end of my third year at Anderson University. Unfortunately, this also means that I have to worry about being able to pay for yet another semester of schooling. Since the story of my life is based around financial struggles, I still don't know if I'll be able to afford another semester at school. I will probably end up knowing by the end of tomorrow. If I can afford another semester, I can then plan on purchasing my new forever friend!

Over the weekend, I went to Michigan to see the wonderful breeder who would be providing the little puppy I tenderly call Rowling. Her name is Jill and the mom dog is Passion(pictured below).



The dad dog is Apatchie, a beautiful red merle.



My puppy is going to be a beautiful male blue merle that will look kinda like this.



The pictures are from http://qualityaussies.webs.com/, my breeder's site!

Anyhow, the possible names for my dog are Rowling, Bandit, and Nimi. I am SUPER excited for this possible little puppy! Now only that but I'm super excited for my possible house that I will be subleasing in May.

Now, if only I could fix my finances enough so that I could get my dog and house, I will be perfectly content to live without luxuries. Luxuries aren't needed to make life happy. All I need is my beautiful puppy!

Seriously....No meat?

So I've really taken to the whole environmental movement lately. It's getting to the point where I'm actually going the whole nine yards. You know what I mean: Buying 100% recycled shoes, shirts, socks, etc. Plus, there's the whole buying only recyclable products. Styrofoam is bad, reuse those big ass McDonald's cups next time you go in!

Anyhow, this sort of came about this past semester with the whole moving in with enviromentally friendly roommates. From there, it just boomed. I signed up for a geology class and after each session I'm just reminded of how important it is to recycle. I absolutely hate the things we do to the environment just because it's easy and fast. I've been working really hard to turn off my car in drive-thru's, buy from places that donate to environmental charities, etc.

Yet, there is one thing that I love above all else and that is meat. I am a carnivore at heart. If I was forced to give up veggies or meat, hell, you better bet it'll be the veggies. Meat is the basis of all diets! So when people start giving up meat because it helps the environment and ozone layer and such, I seriously want to bitch-slap them with a geology book and tell them to open it and read that instead of reading pointless blogs or Facebook posts.

Education, my dear Watson! Read and you shall receive brilliance unmatchable with any other power. Instead of pushing vegetarianism, push for something that will actually make a difference. You quitting eating meat will not change the world. How about you start recycling more and stop filling up landfills? Or how about trying to help those overseas by donating to charities? Help out some lonely dogs in a shelter, spoon out food to the poor here on our streets, hell, do something about mountain-top removal or the destruction of the forests and environments.

All in all, if we are to claim that we are bettering the world, we should actually do it and not tip-toe around the scary topics that no one faces. As for me, I will settle in each Friday night and cook that perfectly seasoned chicken to my heart's content.

"There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil to one who is striking at the root." -Henry David Thoreau