I think my biological clock has begun ticking. The last few months I've had moments where I wanted to have a child. I want to settle down, become so bonded to something that it feels part of me, give birth to life, and raise someone who will carry on a legacy. That's a lot to expect from a child but if I'm going to have a kid it's going to be one BAMF.
Only problem is I'm too much of a feminist. I could never allow a man to tie me down. I hate relying on guys and I have a feeling that would take away my relationship options. So I have to either get over my dislike of giving up my womanly powers or give up my chance at one day being married with kids. I'm not sure I can do that. I like being stubborn and independent and powerful!
Nor does it help that after two years I still haven't recovered from falling in love with the most sincere man in the world and never getting my heart back from him.
I think it's so long kids for me. At least I've got tons of nieces and nephews to raise.
I always wanted LOTS of babies but worried a bunch about relying on Hubby for all my monetary needs. It wasn't so much him tying me down as me needing to "ask" him for money or feeling that my new job (stay at home mom) wasn't as important as his.
ReplyDeleteAnd now? Man, my job is important!!! And I love it! And if you get a man like mine, he will realize everyday how much you do, thank you for it, notice your work, and listen to you ramble about your day. If I worked outside the home, here's what J would have to do: stay up at night with C cause I'm not doing that alone if I work fulltime, plan/cook dinner e/o night, clean the house, grocery shop on the weekends/after work, sort/do/fold his own laundry, research house/kid/everything stuff after work, nurture and play with kid, and lots more.
I think if you have a husband/significant other who takes you and your job (SAHM) seriously, there is no reason to worry. I don't get paid for my job but I do enable us to live more comfortably and relaxed since we aren't jamming 2 work out of home careers and home life in to after work and weekends. I save us money through grocery shopping/no daycare/eating out expenses.
So, get a good guy, rely on him because that's what he's there for. And if you picked a BAMF guy, he'll rely on you and love you so much more for pausing your other career to raise your kids and make a happy home. Ad you'll make BAMF cute kids and live a sickeningly joyful life.
OMG, my comment was as big as your post. Sorry!
ReplyDeleteNo worries about relying solely on a man for your livelihood. I never finished college, never worked for a company, yet I am able to provide for my family financially just as much as D does. Now, there are time when I take a break from that to focus more on my family (now, lol), but it's always there. I am self reliant enough to always be able to create WHATEVER life I want.
ReplyDeleteMarriage and raising a family is more of a team effort. There are times I lean on D, and times he leans on me. It's not always easy, for sure. But if you choose a good man who respects you as a person, not just as his child's mom those fears of loosing yourself aren't so valid.
And you and I and Sarah are from the same family-God help the men who marry us, lol! You can still be stubborn, independent and powerful (in a good way) while being married. Hehe...you have been around our house long enough to know that!
:) I have been thinking about your post a lot and just wanted to add that my picture of marriage and family life has changed a whole lot in the last decade or so.
ReplyDeleteI think that families can look many different ways and still be awesomely happy. The more I tried to rack my brain, I couldn't come up with any examples of people I know where the woman has had a man tie her down... I can only think of a myriad of diverse examples of how my friends and family have great partnerships in life.
That said, sure. I have made a lot of sacrifices and changes that are a direct result of being married to your brother. He has done the same for me. Married and family life is full of compromise... and also pretty awesome if you have the right guy.
Thanks, everyone! It's definitely helpful to have the advice of women who've gotten married and are raising families, especially when we're all part of a family with similar tastes and behaviors.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure I'll eventually settle down. For now, I'm still too immature and my work schedules don't really allow for a relationship but in time I hope to find someone I can work good with and one day start a family with.