The Journey Home- Spiritually At Least

"Sometimes standing still is the best move you ever make."

The Chapter We All Dread

At least most involved writers dread this one. It's the chapter toward the crisis for your characters. It's nearing the end of the novel and this is the time when characters must decide their loyalties and obligations.

Since this book has two different perspectives, it will technically have two crisis. The first one, the one I'm at, is Arobin's chapter. I'm at the final chapter before it and I completely don't want to push forward. I hate crisis. Sometimes they present the hardest material to write. For me, they are far more difficult than the beginning, the halfway point, and even the climax. Most readers assume the climax is the most difficult. It is of course the point of most suspense, the very moment where the future of your characters is decided and they take action.

What readers don't realize is that the crisis exists before then. If you notice, most books/movies/stories have a point where their main character is challenged with a massive obstacle and their will is broken down. At this point, your character must either decide to continue or give up. It's the crisis that determines what their fate will end of being more so than the climax. Crisis just tend to be smaller and less noticeable.

This crisis is making me incredibly sad. After reuniting Arobin with the love of his life and placing him with people and friends he trusts, I'm finally removing him from this area. I think what I'm most sad at is in the chapter before, the one I'm working on, Arobin gets his last moment with his wife. It's a tender moment, something I've never written before. Because of this it means so much to me and it means even more to my characters. To write these final words and exchanges knowing that they will never speak again while they have no idea of what's coming the next day fills me with an unstoppable ache.

Sometimes the job of the writer is so bitter and difficult that it fills me with frustration. I almost feel like I'm playing god to people who have no control over their lives.

But, in all actuality, isn't that how reality is? We don't have control over what's happening the next day. We don't know where we'll end up. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and take whatever is thrown at us.

Slight Rant Against Ye Olde Religion

I mean, the subtitle to this blog does mention voicing opinions about bitterness toward people, life, and God so I guess I need to go ahead and follow the description.

Just is just my thought process here but...

A few days ago I was a little down and out about how I had yet to land a career-job. I had heard someone talking about how they handed all their troubles over to God and not long later things started looking up all of sudden. So what did I do?

I said a prayer, handed my worries about my job over to God, and asked Him to guide me in finding a secure, good-paying job.

You know what happened?

Two days later I find out my job is only going to last a month longer because they're shutting down.

Really? Awesome...

Character Bio- General Hastings

In my head his name is the General. He's been in the works for some time now. In the original books, he played a much bigger part and was actually two separate characters. One character was sly and vindictive while the other was calculating and laid-back. They played the main antagonists to Arobin when he was stuck in the prison camp Kalique.

However, in Book 3 he's been reshaped and reborn as the General. The name is only used when Arobin refers to him because of their brief past working under the same person, the great and evil BBG. I combined the two characters, reshaped his personality, and reduced his role. I wanted the main antagonist to Arobin to be more of the struggles he faces as he attempts to choose to follow either Roan or BBG, his previous master. I also wanted Arobin and, in turn, the reader to focus more on the camp itself and the death it causes the prisoners rather than on the man running the camp. That's why he isn't referred to by his name. I wanted his part to remain vague.

In all actuality, the General really isn't that much of an antagonists. He's a broken man and not the type that turns into a killer. He's a very sad character for a writer to write because I know what he once was, what he will be one day and, unfortunately, what he is now. He's meant to be an example of what war can do to men, even those who are strong and powerful. This role is also a nice mirror of the antagonist Roan gains at the end of this novel, following my plan of Arobin and Roan playing foils to each other.

Tonight is the General's debut and I'm excited to finally introduce him to my characters and see where his first encounter with Arobin in the death camp leads the plot. So now I return to those wonderful pages to see what's awaiting :)

Writing Blurb- Various POVs

Arobin got his first chapter in Book 3. It had a few rough spots that got patched up. There's still a bit I have to work on but, all in all, it turned out quite good. I think I'm successfully hitting upon the personality traits that separate Roan from Arobin. When I went to write Arobin's chapter it was like a breath of fresh air to me. I rarely stick Roan in situations where he's unhappy and unable to change that but, alas, he isn't static and he has to change. So after writing a long chapter with him being unhappy, it was a great relief to write about Arobin. The man is definitely fierce in comparison to Roan right now.

In addition to Arobin getting his first chapter I also got to introduce my beloved group of mages. While in the original books these guys were straight up a group of invincible, untouchable BAMFs I decided to take a different approach to them. I've been writing their legends into the first three books so introducing them at their weakest in a prison camp is providing some fun dialogue and character interaction.

Here's a tidbit from Arobin's first chapter on his own (he has since had one more chapter, one I'm currently working on)...

Gog looked over at Kaye and Jorin. The two other mages hesitated but both nodded. Gog’s eyes lingered on Zeus for a moment longer. Then he stuck his hand out for Arobin to shake. “I’ll protect you for three days and give you all the info you need.”

“And I can swear by the end of this week you’ll be a free man again, magic and all.”

Now, I haven't entirely forgotten Roan. He's had a chapter between Arobin's. Unfortunately, his is proving difficult to write. I originally wanted the antagonists who captured him to have a bigger part in his personality change as soon as they met him. However, Roan has since explained to me he wants nothing to do with them. So the amount of dialoge in his chapters has shrunk and I'm stuck relying on tons of description to get across his struggles.

He did, however, get his own moment away from his captors for a time. It was a chance for Roan to just be Roan, to reclaim the adventurous spirit he had back home with his old friends. It was wonderful to get to write from his perspective again without worrying about other characters. When I finally mixed him back up with his fellow characters there was a good deal more chemistry. I'm starting to like my newest character Morgan as he reveals more of his personality to Roan and the reader. Here's a brief tidbit about them...

“You know,” Roan said, “You’re crazy.”

Morgan chuckled at that. He nodded. “I may be. There aren’t many people out there who would hunt down a Seal just to give it up so they could wait a few more years.”

“Until then, you’re on my side just to get back into Catirus.” Roan grinned. “That’s selfish.”

Ye Olde Scatterfield

It's been seven months since I've left Anderson behind. There are still things I miss. One of the them is Scatterfield.

After going without my car today and struggling to write all day, it was all I could to not speed down the streets this evening when I finally had a chance to drive again. As soon as I was back in the seat with my music playing and my dog sitting next to me, I felt at home again.

By the time I got home, I broke down in tears because of my longing for good old Scatterfield and the escape it once provided me.

Hears to you, my old inspiration.

Down with the Chapter!

The outcry was heard by the masterminds of the universe. Due to the disbelieving cries and outraged riots of the underlings, the gods have decided to give in...

And now, across all lands, one voice raises and yells, "WE HAVE SLAUGHTERED THE CHAPTER!!"

Now, all goofing aside, I've finally finished the chapter that took nearly one month to write. Coupled with life getting busy and being exhausted as I battle through winter lack of energy, it took way too long to finish this chapter. Now that it's finally under my belt I feel very accomplished. Enough so to blog about it!

SOPA got my diagram...Edited for spoilers (JIC I get popular)

So right now on the plot diagram(Which I need to describe in a future post) we are beyond the halfway point and officially in the nitty gritty middle where it either becomes SUPER hard to write or SUPER DUPER easy. Which way the ball rolls depends mainly on how much a writer is prepared for putting their characters through hell.

As a slightly over-prepared writer (I mean, come on, I have a plot diagram. It's a given I'm prepared), I have no fears about charging, nay, bounding into the middle. Mainly because I get to finally delve into my characters' heads and reveal to the reader, myself, and my other characters who they really are. It's hard to get this done when moving from setting to setting as I've been doing since the beginning of the book. Now my characters are stuck in one setting. Now I've got them where I want them.

Red arrow is where I am in the diagram

The only thing I'm slightly hesitant about is that this is the first time in around eight years that I have a secondary character whose point of view gets to take over at least two chapters. That means I'm straying from good old Roan and instead diving head first into Arobin's eyes. He's our new character who joined up in the end of Book 2. Like I said, he'll be getting a couple of his own chapters where he serves as a foil to Roan's situation. He's going to be emphasizing Roan's downfall in this book as he rises to glory. Since splitting polar opposite character personalities is difficult and I'll be jumping from one to the other as they rotate chapters I'm slightly dubious as to how well I'll achieve my goal of keeping each in his own sphere.

BUT STILL!!!

I am eager, I am enthralled, and I am enchanted by the places and adventures this book is dragging me to that I never thought we would go. And so now I leave to return to the novel where Arobin is blessed with his first chapter.

Indy wants to write a book about how he eats chicken poop

Learning to Listen

So this started my mental breakdown today.

At about 4am I woke up, which is not at all unusual for me since I tend to wake at that time each morning, I looked over at the snake's cage and wondered if he had escaped yet.

Now he's securely stuck in there so my worries were pretty unfounded and that's not really the point of this post. The point, dear reader, is that I don't listen to my head. When I invested in a snake I knew in my head that I would be terrified of the snake. I hate creepy crawly things. But if there's one thing I've learned in my short life it's that I'm the kind of person who never lives if she doesn't face her fears. So I got the snake despite all logical reasoning.

But at 4am, me convincing myself that I can face a snake each day slightly gave way to the real, legit, no-shit me. And at that butt-crack of dawn, all I heard in my head was, "Why the hell did you even get a snake? You are terrified of them. You are an idiot."

And that's when it happened. I realized that I knew all along this was a bad idea but I didn't listen. Because I am a Taylor and that means I'm way too stubborn for my own good. So I got that snake. I got him and I'll hold him until I get over my fear and become an effin snake whisperer.

But I also ignore that logical voice when it comes to other things. So bright and early this morning, my head said to me with much bravado, "You know, Bekah, you don't listen when it comes to a lot of things. You remember about two years ago midway through college when I said you didn't want to be a teacher? And then you just kept going on with that idea that you did? And then you started teaching and realized you hated it more? And then you graduated and realized you hated it more than was logically possible? And then you left Anderson and needed to start your job search? And then you ignored that job search for a couple months? And now you're sitting in a home that isn't even yours, working a silly job that is not even close to a career, with a 100,000$ degree sitting under your farm clothes still in its envelope, and nothing to prove for it but the idea that one day something will fall into your lap and opportunity will knock on your door. Well, this is what happens when you don't listen."

But that voice didn't stop there. I proceeded with my day, feeding animals and doing chores until the fury I felt toward myself, the unbridled disgust and shame, just exploded in the form of putting down my foot and saying to myself, "Get up off your ass!"

So to speak, of course. I'm an excuse-maker. I'm a victim-player. I'm a slacker. And now I'm fed up.

So I'm setting a goal for myself. By the end of February I will advance. I say that in such general terms because what if it really is the economy that's partly to blame for my career-less-ness. Well, my the end of this nasty, love-filled month of pointless winter, I will do something with my life. I will find some sort of goal.

Today, I'm listening to that voice. I'm doing what it tells me because no-nonsense me is far more logical that the other me. I'll find something more and reclaim my fervor for life and all that it offers.

Today is the start of tomorrow and a better future.