Friday, December 9, 2011

The Design In Stillness

What is winter?

Some say it is a period of loss. Some say it is a time of sorrow. Others confess there is no longing to be found in the cold.

But if the eyes are shut, one can see all the splendor of the infinite darkness.

The sun has departed, desire vanishing with it.

Now remains quiet serenity. Now is the era of the moon and grey universe.

Falling from the sky are droplets of heaven.

They are soft and sweet, tranquil and soothing.

The emerald earth welcomes their coming. It creates a sea of purity. The trees are frosted with the twinkle of life.

When the ground fades under dust the world begins to withdraw.

And now begins a time of tenderness and warmth. The homestead becomes a harbor. The hearth becomes a well of riches.

In a time where all fears are shunted aside, all eyes are turned to the sky. Prayers pave the way for miracles. All that can be heard is the song of rebirth and deliverance. The chance has come for all souls to be redeemed.

But as quick as the frost chills, the ice patters down. For a period, the universe comes to a standstill. All that remains is the chill that descends over the earth.

The songs of merriment fade into space.

The wind glides from the unmoving tundra.

The white waves of the earth are suspended in motion.

The time for action has passed. A single opportunity arises. The moment for reflection has come.

And, alone and vulnerable, standing upon the hillside of the universe with eyes shut, there is nothing left but the restful quiet. Stretching across the heavens, the greatness of the universe looms as a magnificent masterpiece.

And, soft and gentle, the stars drift down upon the plain.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Beta Reader Advice Needed!

After hearing from a few of my beta readers for Book 1 of my series, I've come to realize that there is an issue with my antagonist main character's name. He goes by Bladis, pronounced as Blay-dis with a long vowel a. However, it is being read as Blad-dis.

So what I need is a few brave souls to read through this list and tell me which one they think implies the long vowel best and is aesthetically pleasing. All help is definitely appreciated.

1) Blaedis
2)
Blaidus
3)
Bleydis
3)
Blādis
4)
Bladys
5)
Bleydis


Also, I will be needing additional beta readers soon seeing as how my first manuscript goes out this weekend. It would be free for the reader and they would have the opportunity to heartlessly critique another person's work, something we all secretly love doing :) I'll post a call-out soon.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The Final Night

Nano is officially over. It was the best and the worst month in a long time.

The Cons-
- Learned that writing on a deadline consists of schedules, ideas, and lots and lots o' plot planning.
- Slowing down for a day only destroys your motivation. Don't ever stop.
- Writer's block while on a deadline is NOT GOOD.

The Pros-
- I had the best support group with my NaNo regional friends in Indy, my sister who tolerated my random novel rants, and my family.
- It is possible to kill your vampires and overcome your own self doubt. 50k words is possible, no matter what common sense tells you.
- A masterpiece can come from the rough.
- And, above all else, I have learned about myself through deadline writing. I've learned my strengths and weaknesses and I've learned to build on them. And that's the point of challenging yourself, isn't it? To find your weaknesses, look them in the face and tell them no, and move on to prove that you can achieve something few people even dare.

Look forward to the future few posts where I will finally have time to stop and describe my book and its plots to my ever-excited readers ;)

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Confession of the Day

I still have a comfort blanket.

I know, only kids have them.

Typically...

It doesn't have daffodils or unicorns on it. It's just a cheap 5 dollar throw from like 4 years ago around fall time. It has leaves on it.

And I can't sleep without it, winter, summer, rain, or shine.

And I'm proud to admit it too.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

50k

Tonight, I finally reached 50k words and, as a result, won NaNoWriMo 2011. It's a great feeling. I'm so glad I participated. I know without NaNo this year I wouldn't have started on my third book for who knows how long. Plus, I wouldn't have thrown myself back in the tempting arms of writing and all the thrill and chills it entails.

But I cannot describe how relieved I am that it's done. The last few days were spent racing toward word goals, hoping and praying that I wouldn't give up. And of course, I never did give up. This is feeling more and more like a good book each day. But the competition had its downsides as well. I know I rushed through and in turn sacrificed some good writing. But, alas, that's what editing is for :)

Now for a few of my favorite quotes from the first 50k.


"When the Ial designed it and insisted they place it upon the wall he was at first hesitant. Now it gave him a sense of purpose. It made him realize that he was no longer a simple farmer trying to change things. He was a revolutionist."

"I'm no mule," Jace insisted.

"It’s one of those two birds, one stone situations you easterners are so fond of.”


Arobin chuckled, looking up at the sky with a crazed look in his eyes. “One day the earth will swallow cities like this in the blink of an eye. A war is not a war until you stand on a field with your soldiers’ bodies around you. There will be a time, Roan Leah, when even the brave will wake from the night and be unable to rise.”

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Farmily

We now have a cow as a part of the farmily out here. She arrived tonight and has yet to be named. She is adorable :)

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Epic



This movie is the best thing to ever happen. I love this story and I love this scene. Definitely the best depiction of the plagues I can remember. And so chilling. Sometimes I'm reminded of the power God has over people and realize that it is truly a blessing he's a forgiving God.

Plus, this is great inspiration for me when I'm writing. Nothing like this scene to remind me of what I'm aiming for in my final book *wink wink*

In the famous words of Melody Pond, "Spoilers".

Also, This...


This is pretty epic as well, though I've only just learned about this game. The trailer is good enough for me though and inspirational to say the least.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

An Endless Cycle

How is that we love in so many ways and still only use one word for it in our language?

How can I feel the same emotion for the steak on my plate as the glowing orange sunsets at the end of the day? I sometimes question why our language has only one word with so many meanings.

Because I feel love for many things.

But I feel tenderness for things that comfort me in the sad moments and remind me of my childhood, where life was simpler.

I feel longing for the presence of my family or my dog when I am lonely in the day.

I feel desperation for the knowledge that I play some role in a life as fragile as a little girl peeking through the shut door whispering my name.

I feel yearning for the next sunrise that welcomes another day where I can make a change in my life, even if I don't take advantage of it every day.

I feel sincerity when I see the tears upon a face and feel them on my own cheeks.

I contentment when I stand on the wide plains with the wind at my shoulders and the grass under my feet.

I feel a lot of emotions but I know I can say I love them all because they all form a life that is full and beautiful. I love the sadness just as much as I love the joy because they all balance each other other out and, without one, the other would not be so great.

And that is how I know I love. Because I love many things.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Book 2 Is Reborn

As a paperback edition!!

This is just a proof copy (a copy the writer gets before publication so they can edit and fine-tune it before it goes to the publisher). Nonetheless, it is such a feeling of excitement and pride to finally be able to hold it in my hands :)

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Running on a Full Tank

Listen to this as you read this. Because that's what I'm doing.



So today is Day 2 of NaNo. I am currently around 3400 words and have 600 more to go before I'm done for the day. The excitement of writing is just as i remember it. It's like being hyped up on four cans of Monster, 40 Pixie Sticks, while running a 14-mile race down an erupting volcano with a stampede of mustangs thundering around you and four helicopters flying overhead recording the entire thing in theme to the loudest, most obnoxious music in the galaxy. Don't forget the thousand space ships soaring over your head and the massive meteorite shower burning up the sky.

Oh, and you're wearing shoes made of lightning that create craters in the earth each time to step on them.

That's what writing is like.

And I love it.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

I Love Him

Sometimes I just find myself surprised at how much I love my little baby. If you can call him little. He's probably around 80 pounds now. I jokingly refer to him as a rhino when he stomps through the house on his massive paws. He's only a puppy, an adolescent in dog years, but he looks at me with such wise eyes that I'm surprised he's not an old man.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Writing

There are certain parts in a book that, when I start reading or writing, I get shaky, excited, and eager to leap over the words before I even finish reading them.

Two more days until writing time!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The Woman's Place

The last few months living with my sister's family has been such a growing process for me. I've learned a lot, been exposed to new and exciting things, and grown both emotionally and mentally. Living with my brilliant and innovative sister has certainly turned by corn dog-oriented world upside down. I've learned a lot about the fast-food, convienience focus of our world and been introduced to the beauty of vine-ripened tomatoes from your own backyard. There's something about eating fruit, veggies, and meat that's planted, tended, cared for, and harvested by your own hand. The world is definitely changing and I for one have an optimistic view of the pioneering home-grower.

But it hasn't just been food that's changed. I've noticed society's misuse of women and objectifying them to no more than sexual objects and how this is introduced even in the lives of little girls under ten. I find myself stopping when I tell my niece that she looks adorable in her dress but that she really looks like an adventurer on her way to explore new worlds.

And now that NaNoWriMo is only days away and my book is primed for production, I wonder more about the woman's role in a book. As a child I hated reading about female main characters. It was horrible. They always fit cookie-cutter shapes. She was spunky, unable to settle, and set out on an adventure she knew she could handle. She was abused and neglected by family, especially men, and hated her life and vowed to save others from what she suffered. She was lost until she found a man who guided her.

Now that I'm writing those stories I vowed to never have a girl like that. My MC's tend to be male, yes, I will admit that. But the girls that are in there are flashy enough that they don't need a man to solve their problems. But still, I can't help but feel like I'm falling in the female MC rut. Book 1 had a voluptuous FMC who turned into a traitor. Book 2 was better though. FMC who is destined to take the throne of a warrior tribe who takes it upon herself to be MMC's guide and then a FMC who finds herself overthrowing BBG (big bad guy), who is also her master, in order to protect society from corruption.

But Book 3 has female characters and they all have alterior motives. FMC1 from Book 2 is tempted to betray her friends to better her tribe. FMC is destroying everything in her path in order to provide for a family who has met its match in war times. FBBG is hunting MMC in order to achieve glory.

So my question for my readers is this. What is the woman's place in novels? To be the plucky young women, the brooding broad, or something else? What role is sexist in the novel?

Monday, October 17, 2011

The Return to Writing- NaNoWriMo

Next month is November, which for me means writing time. It's NaNoWriMo and I'm totally excited this year. Basically, it's National Novel Writing Month. Novelist around the world take a challenge to write 50k words throughout November. They aren't allowed to start their novel early (even though some do), they can upload their word count daily, and they can pump out an entire book in around 30 days! This is an epic endeavor to say the least.

I competed last year but only made it to 10k words before I realized I just didn't have time. This year will be far more extreme. I haven't written in my books for over a year (excluding little Book Bits) and I've wanted to try my hand at it again. So, on November 1st, I will take up my figurative pen, place it to imaginary paper, and begin literally typing away. My current goal is 2k words a day but this will not happen due to work/life.

Even if I don't win, I will still be completely content if it jump-starts me into writing. I'm so excited that I can barely wait to start writing. There may be a few mentions of my preparations in the coming weeks. Expect lots of mentions during November.

In the famous words of the black guy on Jurassic Parks, "Hold on to your butts."

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Writing Blurb

This road that stretches before us is the eternal path.

This road...

This road that leads us into shadowlands of devastation and despair,

That loses us in the fields of heartbreak, hurling us into lives we never chose.

It drags us into clouds of infidelity where the whispers of a massacred God fade into dust.

Through the agony of loss, the throb of love, the emptiness of defeat, this road brings us deeper into a world we never thought we’d reach, we never imagined existed.

But here this road leads, twisting, leaping, and struggling until, like a beast, it bursts from the darkness and charges into the sunlight, glimmering with the dew of new life.

Passed the adversity, beyond the misery, this road races headfirst through the raging storms.

It is no longer a trial. It no longer runs alongside the festering wounds.

This road forgets the scars.

This road forgets the despair.

This road forgets all laws of man.

The laws of a merciful God rule on this road.

On this road where people are reborn, nations are created, and fires are kindled in the hearts of the weak when, as one, we open our eyes and face the howling winds.

The world we could once never imagine is now true on this road.

This road...

This road that stretches before us is the eternal path.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

I Choose You, Indecision

I don't think I want to be a teacher.

Actually, I know I don't want to be a teacher.

The sad thing is I knew I didn't want to teach mid-way through my schooling but went ahead with it. I knew I wanted to do something with history and I couldn't imagine anything other than teaching. Now I realize I could have done library or museum studies. But, at the time, I was foolish and thought I would grow out of it.

Now, after having my license and hunting for jobs, I realize I really don't want to be a teacher. I find the entire system corrupt and useless. Children are no longer learning. They are only being taught. But that's a post for another day.

Sometimes I feel like the most useless person in the world. Like a 40-year-old man sitting in his mom's basement playing video games while the world grows up and moves on around him. I starve for comfort, for a sign that I'm not useless. I need to feel like I'm accomplishing something. So what am I going to do with a four year degree that earned me a card-stock diploma?

I don't know the answer to that but I'm sure that sitting around worrying won't help me. I need to keep saving money and doing my best to find a career that I love. Because, in all actuality, what's the point in doing something for the rest of your life, or even a few years, if you don't find yourself passionate about what you do?

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Over Two Years

And I'm still in love. I was never much of a romantic but every now and then I'll play a song my significant other and I used to listen to and it brings back all these memories. You'd think after two years I would be over him and ready to move on.

But I'm not because I'm still in love with him. My soul mate is in my past.

Unless life is like a movie and we reconnect one day, I think I might just be single for the rest of my life.

But, honestly, and so, so truthfully, I am okay with that. Because those couple years were as wonderful and magical for me as the two years since then and I would never trade them for anything.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Improving

I think I'm getting smarter. I'm not running around saying whatever I think without thinking about the results. I call it maturing but it could just be that I've stuck my hand in the fire enough to realize the flames are bad. But a rose by any other name is still a rose :)

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Anderson

There are still days that I miss my old town. It's when an occasional siren sounds near work or I hear a train chugging by that I wish I could still fall asleep to that sound. I miss all the extra time I had. I miss a lot of things about that town. Now that I look back, I realize that it really wasn't that bad there. I had a good life and it was my home for a number of years. Being away doesn't really feel like I'm actually away for good. It just feels like a very long vacation and, to be totally frank, I want that vacation to end.

Oh, how I miss Anderson.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

A Woman Should Be....

So I'm taking a shower this morning and while shaving my legs I thought to myself how much I love having really slick legs (as opposed to never shaving). As soon as I had that thought I froze and reprimanded myself, demanding, "Why should a woman only feel good about her legs when she shaves them?"

I should like my legs whether shaved or not. I don't know if it's society telling me I should like my legs only when shaved or just something natural I enjoy. I love things in a set order. My hair should be flat and straight, my makeup equal on my face, my clothes matching and pressed, and my legs without hair. I'm OCD like that.

But then I realized that it isn't just my obsessive ticks that make me shave my legs. It's the same thing that tells me I must be perfect in order to be beautiful. I don't like having hair on my legs just like I don't like being fat. I don't like my chubby legs, big butt, my color of hair, my big forehead, small(ish) breasts, my big belly, my pimply face, the clothes I wear since they aren't trendy, and the car I drive because it's wrecked and old. A woman should be perfect and she can't without all those flaws.

But those flaws are what make me the perfect woman. I may be a tiny bit chubby but I've come to terms with that. I wouldn't have been chubby if it wasn't perfect in God's eyes. My hair is bright and shiny and though it's color isn't perfect I would rather walk into a grocery store with this frizz head than curls and perms. It's perfect for my big forehead, and my forehead is the perfect size for people to see that badass scar on it. I'd rather have all these scars on my body than a flawless body because they show how perfectly I've lived my life to the fullest extent and taken a few blows while I'm at it. Even though my tattoo isn't a typical woman's accessory, it is for me. It shows what I've been through and how confident I am in the future and all I have yet to experience. My clothes and car aren't perfect but while I pay bills and get on my feet they work.

Being a woman is not about flawless appearance and shiny belongings. It's about being perfect as who you are with what you have been given and that's good enough for me.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Moving's Inevitable Result

On Day 5 of living in a new town I realized that I was actually away from all my friends back home. I live among rich(er) folk, in the country, and far, far from where I used to be. Today I had my first regret about moving. I thought to myself, "I miss Anderson".

In Anderson, there was a routine to life. I got up at a certain time each day, walked my dog, went to class, came home, did homework, went to work, came home, walked my dog, and read or wrote for a couple hours before bed. Here, there is no such routine. It's all off-the-wall sort of stuff. Today it's going out randomly, tomorrow it's pop-up events, yesterday it was the same. I miss knowing what was coming in the next few hours. I miss the street lights in my window, the cars driving by, the bell tower going off every hour, the sirens screeching in the distance, the trains rumbling across town. Sometimes I still hear those trains. I wish it was real. I miss my old haunt.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

My Life = This Quote

I know I've posted this before but it definitely needs reposting today :)

"For no men, no cause, no war. Because there is no cause greater than life. And life is here with my family. When I was alone, a return was all I dreamed of. And now, reality of being home is greater than any dream. To you my fellow travelers, I will carry you always in my heart of hearts. If we perish, we do so as one. Because it is with my family that I will stay. Till the end. The ghost of what I was will haunt me no longer. For I am loved. I am free."

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Jerry-rigged & The Pup and The Fish


Tomorrow is our final day here in good old Anderson. I expect it to feel like it takes 2 weeks instead, lots of tearful goodbyes, and a load being removed from my shoulders as well. Here's to a good last day!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Countdown

2 Days!!

I got all my room decorations, closet, and bathroom items packed up. Mowed the lawn one final time (Stepped in Indy's landmines as well...), took the trash to the curb one final time, and got my laundry done in my scary basement one final time as well. The third one is something I celebrated at *shudder*.

Tomorrow, I collect my pantry foods, the rest of the clothes, and my office supplies. The last of my homework is to be done Wednesday night ahead of any deadlines since my printer will be packed up.

Yay!!!!

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Comfort Level Redefined

You know you're comfortable in your house when you're cooking a meal and it gets too hot to be wearing a t-shirt and you strip it off on your way to your room. Then you get changed with the windows open while there's a church service going on in the parking lot behind your house.

Good thing I'm moving to the country and living with other humans. I'll have to start wearing clothes around and shutting the door when I go to the bathroom. That and I won't have a dog as my only conversation partner.