With a life as ridiculously out of control and busy as mine I struggle to find chances to just relax and ponder the world around me. School is calming down a bit now, yet I feel equally as busy. I got word today that I have to come up with nearly two thousand dollars in order to come back to school next semester. With it being my last semester, I definitely need to be back here and, to be honest, I don't have the money. Paying rent, utilities, gas, car maintenance, and everything else that pops up in life doesn't leave much left over. I also had to buy a laptop this week because my old one died so I'm lower on funds than is usual.
I know the Lord will provide for me so, unlike last year when this happened, I didn't break down in tears and hate my life. Well, I did hate on my life for a while but when does that not happen? :) Instead of sobbing and whining, I reminded myself of what I truly have in life and what it is I'm striving to perfect. I have a wonderful family, a niece that adores me, nephews who think their aunt is pretty darn cool, and wonderful siblings and mother. I still have exceptional health. I still have a warm (relatively) house, a comfy bed, and schoolmates and teachers who care for me.
It's the moments where all this settles in and I get a chance to sit down and breathe that I strive for. I have a chance to remember what I've been blessed with. It seems in those few minutes where I remind myself of these things that the world around me seems to slow down, I feel warm and comforted and safe, and there is a golden future ahead of me. It's in those moments, despite how brief they may be, that I relish in the contentment and happiness I so actively pursue.
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