The Exodus

Today was a struggle for me. I spent the weekend at home with my wonderful family. I didn't work, I didn't worry over homework, and I spent most of the time having fun with my niece and nephews. I really needed the time off from life in Anderson but, as always, I knew returning to AU would be troublesome. I hate coming back to this town after staying at home. It's like a crash course in reality. On one hand there's rest and relaxation while on the other is hardship and distress.

In order to better cope with this transition and the coming month before I can spend another weekend at home, I decided I would read a few passages from the Bible and seek strength and inspiration from there. I've always loved the story of Moses and the Israelites and started there. It's the first time ever that I've actually read Exodus and not just heard the story through movie or discussion and I have to say it's a really complex passage.

Most people focus on the plagues or God's seemingly callous approach to his punishments. I feel like I grew up hearing about how important it was to do what God wanted you to in order to avoid punishments like the plagues. While reading through it today, I realized Exodus has another aspect to it. It's about the glory of God and how strongly we, as believers, are called to have faith in him.

One passage that truly affected me was Chapter 4: 11,

‎"Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and teach you what to say."

This passage just demonstrates how powerful God really is. Moses doubted God's ability to convince the people of his glory. God reminds Moses that it is he who created the world and who has power over everything that happens within it. He has the power to change people's beliefs, appearances, and lives. After all, it is God who created the deaf and mute. He created the extremists, the nonbelievers, the world that surrounds us, the autistic, and the gifted. It is he who has complete control over the nations and civilizations.

This passage also captures the calling for faith that God asks us all to have. Moses not only doubted God's power but he also doubted his wisdom. He questioned God's decision in picking him to lead the Israelites from Egypt. He was sure God had picked the wrong man because of Moses' lack of social and speech skills. But God revealed that his doubt was in vain. He knew Moses. A matter of fact, he created Moses, just as he created the lame and broken.

All throughout Exodus, this issue of doubt arises again and again. Moses doubts that God will convince Pharaoh to let his people go. The Israelites doubt that Moses knows what he is doing when they leave Egypt; they even doubt God's ability to lead them through the Red Sea. Often times, historians and Christians focus too much on the aspect of doubt from Exodus and not enough on faith. It is faith that God repeatedly calls us to have in his decisions. The humans are rash and anxious to see change immediately. When God delays his actions, he wishes his believers only have faith and wait to see change. With constant faith in God, the Israelites would, in time, see that he truly knew what he was doing.

This book is very important to me because of this calling for faith. At this point in my life, I, like the Israelites, anxiously look for change around me. I want my life to improve in only a few days. I want more security, more happiness. When it appears this isn't happening in the span I want it to, I grow restless. I doubt my faith and God and wonder why change isn't taking place. I struggle with having faith so much right now that it's nearly a daily battle.

But, just as it's a daily battle, it's also a daily opportunity for me to reevaluate my life and realize that God is doing what he needs to in order to develop me as a respectable believer and citizen. When I start to get restless and wonder when things will change, I remind myself to have patience; God will reveal his plans for me when the time is ideal for him, not for me. Until then, I must only wait and pray for enlightenment.