Those are the lyrics from a song I particularly enjoy and, while the song is about being romantically in love with someone, I'm in love in a different fashion. I love a life I'm looking forward to and only catch fleeting glimpses of. There's the usual life I have at my house; a life full of school, work, teaching, bills, responsibility, and burdens. It's the life I hate.
Then there's the life I'm in love with. It's a life where I strive to do the most to help those around me. It's a life where I can have responsibilities all day long and feel content enough to fall asleep early in the evening. It's full of fun, family, and freedom. I still deal with my responsibilities and I still have to do things I may not like (cleaning up barf/waking up early) but it's a different sense of commitment. It leaves me with feelings of happiness and moments of warmth. I commit everything to memory because I always want to be able to remember those moments where it's all perfect.
I was getting ready for bed over the weekend and standing next to my 5-year-old niece at the sink. We were just chatting, talking about hairstyles, earrings, school, and how terrible her brothers are. While I was washing my face she turned to me, grinned, and said, "That stuff smells good," in her strange little accent. Tonight, back at my house, I was getting ready for bed and remembered her comment and grinned.
It's memories like that and long weekends of fun that remind me what I'm working towards. Even if this life, the one in ye olde Anderson, is taking longer than I expected, I know there's a life outside this one that I can look forward to. In a few months I'll find more contentment and rest and if it takes a few months of suffering to get there then so be it. Because, in the end, all I really want is to be in love with my life :)
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